FIVE5 [AUG 11 - 17]

FIVE5 is back! After a short hiatus, we return with an Outer-Borough Special. That’s right all you Manhattanite snobs, get out there and experience what makes New York well, New York. Besides, you won’t have to deal with all those B&Ts coming into your neighborhood bars on the weekends:

1. WILLY-B

Annoyingly hip, but still one of the best nightlife neighborhoods. Our ideal night would start out with drinks at Giando’s on the water. Nestled between the Brooklyn Navy Yard and the Domino Sugar plant, this restaurant/banquet hall is home to Italian mob-types that eloquently match the over-gaudy décor. Grab a drink at the bar from Joey and gaze at the unparalleled views of the Willy Bridge and Manhattan skyline from the bar or from the outdoor deck along the water.

A few blocks from Giando’s is our favorite ‘diner’ in the city, Diner on Broadway and Berry. You can’t deny the charm of this cozy, 1927 dining car. The menu is far from typical diner-fare and is ever-changing. Affordable and delicious.

After dinner we’d make our way up Berry to The Levee (212 Berry). This unpretentious bar welcomes everyone with their famous Texan hospitality. I think our single CU members will enjoy the sign “Beware of Pickpockets & Loose Women,” while chugging brews ($4 to $7) that include options like Chimay Blue and Delirium Tremens, or one of the delicious specialty drinks ($6), like a Creamsicle (Stoli Vanil and Sunkist orange soda) or a Beam Cream (Jim Beam and cream soda).

Finally we’ll end up at Funhouse on Bedford: A cavernous, raw, converted garage space beckons beyond the giant clown head by the entry, with non-stop, arty projections on the paint-chipped walls compete with cool pyramid installations under whirring industrial fans. Inexpensive beers ($2 Buds, $3 Guinness), a free MP3 jukebox, and a cute, young clientele all warrant a CU thumbs up.

2. WARM IT UP

We’re hitting LIC this Saturday for the hot-hot Warm Up at P.S. 1. Dance in the museum courtyard, or lounge in the “beach” installation. The line up this week features: Lovebug Starski (original hip-hop legend) + Very special guest Jason Blackkat (Blackkat Soundsystem, NYC). Get there before the masses to avoid massive lines, and leave before it dies; we’re heading over to Astoria Beer Garden afterwards to cool down with some tasty brews.

3. BIKE THE BROOKLYN WATERFRONT

New York Metro recently had a nice feature on City bike tours. A few CU members plan to take this one on Sunday: Brooklyn contains multitudes, and that’s just along the river. Cross the Brooklyn Bridge and pass the gorgeous townhouses of Henry Street from Brooklyn Heights through Carroll Gardens. At the end of Red Hook’s trendy-industrial Van Brunt Street, past the bake shops and faux-nautical bars, is the squat, redbrick Beard Street Warehouse, with views of the Statue of Liberty. At Valentino Pier, amateur fishermen enjoy condo-quality sight lines. The return trip offers more conventional prospects—the Brooklyn Heights Promenade and Fulton Landing. Farther still is Dumbo and its neglected cousin, Vinegar Hill, a Georgian Revival ghost town. Then it’s a quick coast back over the Manhattan Bridge.
Directions

4. SOCRATES SCULPTURE PARK FILM SERIES

Next Wednesday, August 17 at 8PM, we’ll be at Socrates Sculpture Park sampling regional Brazilian cuisine from neighborhood restaurants, picnicking on the grass as the sun sets over the city, enjoy performances by local musicians and dancers and, as the sky darkens, watching Central Station, by Walter Salles on a large format screen. Central Station is about a young boy and an aging woman joining up for an unlikely journey across the Brazilian landscape in a film that combines heartwarming yet unsentimental drama, social commentary, and beautiful landscapes. It’s FREE and you can bring wine, food, and your DOG!

5. KUNG FU FIGHTING

CU is very excited about BAM’s new movie series, Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, The Shaw Brothers. With roots dating as far back as the silent era, the Shaw Brothers studio revolutionized the way movies were made in China and beyond. Known mainly for their incredible martial arts epics (both serious and tongue-in-cheek), the Shaws also produced Neal’s favorite classic, The Five Deadly Venoms. Get Tickets and schedule info here

To RueB or not to RueB…

…that is the question that haunts this cracker’s thoughts every night’s walk home after another wonderful date at the office (see point 5 )

Most would ask why this voice is stuck in my head, and I think last night has permanently tattooed those words on the inside of my skull.

RueB, a homely little bar on B south of 12th st in the East Village, is nothing to shake a stick at, but for many reasons has created some of the most random nights this cracker-fied NYer has ever seen.

After being voted the best bar in the East Village last week in next year’s Zagat, there has been a few more blue-striped shirts around – they have a tasty kitchen, the best martinis you can find, great bartenders, the cutest waitresses, some great free jazz every night (especially Mondays) – but I think Tuesday nights will scare them all away within the month:

Known as Uncle Vinnie’s night-out, if you happen to venture on Ave B after dark on a Tuesday, make sure to bring your gat and gold chains, as the Italian mafia descends upon this little holey jazz place – bringing in the craziest mix of ladies, music, and the most gold per square foot allowed by code. You cannot help but remember as you hear JoeyB belt out Sinatra (and sound exactly like him) and then turn up Alicia Keys (and sound exactly like her) – you think I’m kidding?! And to top it off, last night I got to sit down for a nice G&T and an even better conversation with Rachel Ray (who I must say is very sweet and uber-cute in person – and yes guys, she cooks!).

So, the next time you happen to find yourself in the EV and have a yankerin’ to rub shoulders with Uncle Vinny, Uncle Gino, Perry, and JoeyB….or have lost James and don’t know where to find him, stop by and join me for a tasty beverage.

(and, NO, I don’t get a free guacamole for this post)

FIVE5

The warm weather is finally here, so get out this weekend and live it up. You can count on the FIVE5 guide to New York City for all hot spots of summer:

1. SOFT and MORNING THEFT

What: Soft is playing at The Delancy as part of its anniversary party this Friday. Open bar and hors d’oeuvres from 9-10 and 1-2. After Soft plays at 11, we will be making a B-line to nearby Luna Lounge for a free performance from Morning Theft. This Saturday is unfortunately the last night of business for the near-legendary rock club. Bands like Interpol and The Strokes incubated their following here. We are glad to hear they’re currently seeking real estate in Williamsburg.

When: Friday, June 10, 11PM and 11:30PM

Where: The Delancey (Delancey at Clinton) Luna Lounge (Ludlow btwn Houston and Stanton)

How Much: $7 for Soft and free for Morning Theft

2. BIG APPLE BARBECUE BLOCK PARTY

What: We here at CU love our BBQ. There has been a long debate between CU members begging the question, “Does real BBQ exist in New York?” BBQ certainly is on the rise in popularity. In the past year, Righteous Urban Barbecue, Smoked, Bone Lick Park, Spanky’s and Dinosaur all joined the standards like Virgil’s, Blue Smoke, Daisy May’s and Pearson’s. Come to Madison Square Park for the Big Apple Barbeque Block Party this weekend and find out for yourself if it’s the real deal.

When: June 11th and 12th, 12-6PM

Where: Madison Square Park

How Much: Free

3. HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

What: The creator of Spirited Away, Hayao Miyazaki, brings us his latest anime masterpiece, Howl’s Moving Castle. The movie focuses on a young woman, Sophie, who falls under a wicked curse after meeting an alluring wizard named Howl, and consequently embarks on an epic journey to get her life back and help Howl bring peace to the kingdom.

When: Starts Friday, June 10

Where: Loews Cineplex Lincoln Square, 1998 Broadway

How Much: $10

4. 1983 REVISITED

What: This is a return of the gallery’s 1983 exhibition Master Photographers and features the work of six photographers: André Kertész, Robert Doisneau, Horst, Louise Dahl-Wolfe, Arnold Newman, and Helmut Newton.

When: Wednesday, Now through June 25th gallery hrs. Tues-Sat 11AM-5PM

Where: Staley-Wise Gallery, 560 Broadway (btwn Prince and Spring)

How Much: FREE

5. THE BEACH

What: It’s time to shed that winter fat and tan those pasty thighs. Time to hit the beach. We like Coney Island for the proximity to the City and for the carny food. For swimming in the ocean, we head out to Long Beach or Jones Beach (water temperatures now are in the low 60s). Sunday looks the best for laying out and reading your favorite book to the sound of the waves.

When: This Weekend

Where: Coney Island, Long Beach, Jones Beach

How Much: Coney Island – Free, Long Beach and Jones Beach – about $7

What Kind of Cracker Are You?

The Cook’s Thesaurus tackles the difficult issue of culinary crackerdom.

I can never decide between the Triscuit and the bagel chips with garlic, while Neal loves the matzoh most of all.

More cracker-fetish pics at CU’s Cracker Roll Call Flickr set.

Dog Eat Dog World

We here at CU love our meat; I mean who doesn’t get a hankerin’ for a juicy burger at Corner Bistro every now and again. But, when we see pictures of those South Koreans eating cats and dogs, it makes us want to turn vegan faster than a hippie in a slaughterhouse.

According to the Korea Animal Protection Society (KAPS), who is helping to prevent animal cruelty in South Korea, illegal killing and sale of these domesticated animals continues despite a countrywide law enacted in 1991 prohibiting the cruel treatment of these animals.

If you’re thinking of going veggie, you may want to try the latest faux meat products recommended by Chad Carter with Respecto Montalban over at the Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) Theater:

* Pepperoni -> Pepperphony
* Roast Beef -> Ghost Beef
* Tenderloins -> Pretenderloins
* Babyback Ribs -> Babyback Fibs
* Hamburger -> Shamburger
* Bacon -> Facon
* Fried Chicken -> Fried Trickin’
* Hot Dogs -> Not Dogs
* Porterhouse -> Poserhouse
* Shrimp Scampi -> Shrimp SCAMpi
* Anchovies -> Antichovies
* Steak -> Misteak