FIVE5 [AUG 11 - 17]

FIVE5 is back! After a short hiatus, we return with an Outer-Borough Special. That’s right all you Manhattanite snobs, get out there and experience what makes New York well, New York. Besides, you won’t have to deal with all those B&Ts coming into your neighborhood bars on the weekends:

1. WILLY-B

Annoyingly hip, but still one of the best nightlife neighborhoods. Our ideal night would start out with drinks at Giando’s on the water. Nestled between the Brooklyn Navy Yard and the Domino Sugar plant, this restaurant/banquet hall is home to Italian mob-types that eloquently match the over-gaudy décor. Grab a drink at the bar from Joey and gaze at the unparalleled views of the Willy Bridge and Manhattan skyline from the bar or from the outdoor deck along the water.

A few blocks from Giando’s is our favorite ‘diner’ in the city, Diner on Broadway and Berry. You can’t deny the charm of this cozy, 1927 dining car. The menu is far from typical diner-fare and is ever-changing. Affordable and delicious.

After dinner we’d make our way up Berry to The Levee (212 Berry). This unpretentious bar welcomes everyone with their famous Texan hospitality. I think our single CU members will enjoy the sign “Beware of Pickpockets & Loose Women,” while chugging brews ($4 to $7) that include options like Chimay Blue and Delirium Tremens, or one of the delicious specialty drinks ($6), like a Creamsicle (Stoli Vanil and Sunkist orange soda) or a Beam Cream (Jim Beam and cream soda).

Finally we’ll end up at Funhouse on Bedford: A cavernous, raw, converted garage space beckons beyond the giant clown head by the entry, with non-stop, arty projections on the paint-chipped walls compete with cool pyramid installations under whirring industrial fans. Inexpensive beers ($2 Buds, $3 Guinness), a free MP3 jukebox, and a cute, young clientele all warrant a CU thumbs up.

2. WARM IT UP

We’re hitting LIC this Saturday for the hot-hot Warm Up at P.S. 1. Dance in the museum courtyard, or lounge in the “beach” installation. The line up this week features: Lovebug Starski (original hip-hop legend) + Very special guest Jason Blackkat (Blackkat Soundsystem, NYC). Get there before the masses to avoid massive lines, and leave before it dies; we’re heading over to Astoria Beer Garden afterwards to cool down with some tasty brews.

3. BIKE THE BROOKLYN WATERFRONT

New York Metro recently had a nice feature on City bike tours. A few CU members plan to take this one on Sunday: Brooklyn contains multitudes, and that’s just along the river. Cross the Brooklyn Bridge and pass the gorgeous townhouses of Henry Street from Brooklyn Heights through Carroll Gardens. At the end of Red Hook’s trendy-industrial Van Brunt Street, past the bake shops and faux-nautical bars, is the squat, redbrick Beard Street Warehouse, with views of the Statue of Liberty. At Valentino Pier, amateur fishermen enjoy condo-quality sight lines. The return trip offers more conventional prospects—the Brooklyn Heights Promenade and Fulton Landing. Farther still is Dumbo and its neglected cousin, Vinegar Hill, a Georgian Revival ghost town. Then it’s a quick coast back over the Manhattan Bridge.
Directions

4. SOCRATES SCULPTURE PARK FILM SERIES

Next Wednesday, August 17 at 8PM, we’ll be at Socrates Sculpture Park sampling regional Brazilian cuisine from neighborhood restaurants, picnicking on the grass as the sun sets over the city, enjoy performances by local musicians and dancers and, as the sky darkens, watching Central Station, by Walter Salles on a large format screen. Central Station is about a young boy and an aging woman joining up for an unlikely journey across the Brazilian landscape in a film that combines heartwarming yet unsentimental drama, social commentary, and beautiful landscapes. It’s FREE and you can bring wine, food, and your DOG!

5. KUNG FU FIGHTING

CU is very excited about BAM’s new movie series, Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, The Shaw Brothers. With roots dating as far back as the silent era, the Shaw Brothers studio revolutionized the way movies were made in China and beyond. Known mainly for their incredible martial arts epics (both serious and tongue-in-cheek), the Shaws also produced Neal’s favorite classic, The Five Deadly Venoms. Get Tickets and schedule info here

To RueB or not to RueB…

…that is the question that haunts this cracker’s thoughts every night’s walk home after another wonderful date at the office (see point 5 )

Most would ask why this voice is stuck in my head, and I think last night has permanently tattooed those words on the inside of my skull.

RueB, a homely little bar on B south of 12th st in the East Village, is nothing to shake a stick at, but for many reasons has created some of the most random nights this cracker-fied NYer has ever seen.

After being voted the best bar in the East Village last week in next year’s Zagat, there has been a few more blue-striped shirts around – they have a tasty kitchen, the best martinis you can find, great bartenders, the cutest waitresses, some great free jazz every night (especially Mondays) – but I think Tuesday nights will scare them all away within the month:

Known as Uncle Vinnie’s night-out, if you happen to venture on Ave B after dark on a Tuesday, make sure to bring your gat and gold chains, as the Italian mafia descends upon this little holey jazz place – bringing in the craziest mix of ladies, music, and the most gold per square foot allowed by code. You cannot help but remember as you hear JoeyB belt out Sinatra (and sound exactly like him) and then turn up Alicia Keys (and sound exactly like her) – you think I’m kidding?! And to top it off, last night I got to sit down for a nice G&T and an even better conversation with Rachel Ray (who I must say is very sweet and uber-cute in person – and yes guys, she cooks!).

So, the next time you happen to find yourself in the EV and have a yankerin’ to rub shoulders with Uncle Vinny, Uncle Gino, Perry, and JoeyB….or have lost James and don’t know where to find him, stop by and join me for a tasty beverage.

(and, NO, I don’t get a free guacamole for this post)

Chicks Rock in SA

As CU continues to open splinter cells throughout the country, one traveling man found himself braving the 100 degree heat of San Antonio and ended up last night at a bar you’d never take your mom to –

Drinking with friends, thinking we are here for a cover band, this cracker was blown off his chair by the hot-ness and the rockstar-ness of Spin 66 . Their alter ego, Jawbreaker, is the same crew but strictly a cover band and had a few killer Killers tunes, but their CD was the biggest surprise – shake up Letters to Cleo, Garbage, and Veruca Salt in a ziploc bag and out comes Spin 66 (a little teaser below)

Tease Me

It is no small secret we at CU have an ever swelling infatuation with uber-hot chicky chick lead singers that can really wail and I gotta tell you Heather Gasaway is the new queen of SA…

If you likey, let me know and I might be able to peel my fingers off the CD –

(Much love to the other queen of SA, Rachel, for her own hotness and rockstar-ness in finding these guys)

The Octabong!

When I saw this Eight-Headed Beer Bong Monster contraption called The Octabong, I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. (but first check out this outlandish definition of ‘beer bong’)

Some of Octabong’s features include:

* 8-chamber patented design that accommodates up to 8 people

* Hose-barbed adapters for quick setup and breakdown to clean

* Made in the USA to last for years

What’s even more hilarious are the Facts on why we Americans should own one:

1. The number of Americans who enjoy beer at outdoor parties has increased to over 80 million.
2. Partiers love to race each other with beer.
3. Partiers get excited after seeing Octabong and wish to own one.

“It’s no surprise that Octabong is selling out wherever it travels to. It brings all kinds of beer drinkers together to race with various kinds of beer. The excitement our clients demonstrate is contagious!”

The Octabong would make our BBQ’s even more festive. We’re sure Christian is gonna rush out to get one of these things and pour milk in it, so he can imagine being with his Mommy back in Texas. That monkey.

Cheap Date

So it seems that the good doctors up at Harvard are performing some truly groundbreaking research. They’re studying kudzu, that infernal weed that seems determined to devour the South (not that anyone would miss it). More specifically, they’re examining its effects on people who consume alcohol. As CU’s medical advisor, I’m glad people are finally hearing our cries for more alcohol related research.

Apparently, taking kudzu causes people to imbibe less, which researchers theorize is related to the kudzu increasing the effects of the alcohol on the body. So you get drunker with less beer. Maybe I should be adding kudzu to my beer instead of gin.

That’s all very interesting but I find the actual research methods much more fun than the results, published in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research. They would put 20-somethings in a fake apartment in their lab equipped with a TV, a recliner, and a fridge full of beer. Then they sat around and recorded how much beer the subjects drank even down to sip-by-sip measurements.

From the paper:
“Participants were permitted to watch TV or movies
or listen to music, but they were not permitted to do
their homework or other work. Free access to beverages
began at 5:00 PM (only one beverage at a time), and they
were permitted to drink the beers as fast or as slow as
they desired during the 1.5-hr drinking session.”

How can I get in on this? You get paid to drink beer and watch TV? When I used to work in a sleep lab (as a lab tech, not as a subject) at that very same venerable institution there was no TV and definitely no beer, just rectal temperature probes, white walls, time isolation, and near insanity of the subjects. I’m in the wrong field.

So don’t be surprised if you see Justin out gnawing on some ivy.

04.30.05 | PARTY | 301w18

301w18#2
04.30.05
22:00 hrs

RSVP required.

Bars with Free Pub Grub

For your consideration, a list of New York Bars with Free Pub Grub during happy hour.

Quite a few are in the West Village, close by to the granddaddy cracker Ray Hxxxx’s place.