After a failed attempt to sell my PSP on Craigslist this week, I took a quick look for a new flat screen TV. I figured why not take a look and see if some divorsee in the West Village or something has one they are dying to get rid of. Monday I found this listing:
THIS HAS 2 MONTHS OF VERY LIGHT USE AS ITS BEEN IN STORAGE MOST OF THE TIME SINCE I GOT IT, AND THERE IS 2 YRS WARRANTY ON IT, ORIGINAL RECEIPT AND WORKS GREAT. IT ALSO COMES WITH THE CABLES AND WALL MOUNT. I’M SELLING IT BECAUSE I NEED SOME MONEY URGENTLY TO SETTLE SOME ISSUES. EMAIL ME IF YOU HAVE INTEREST. $450
Jimmy-hat thought to himself: “why not email and see if it’s still available and if they are in the city for a pickup”…“darn this thing is cheap”…“When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?”…I get a response the next morning:
The TV is still available for sale and in great condition it also includes the warranty which is having 2yrs on it.I’m selling it so cheap becasue I need an urgent payment to take care of an issue I want to assure you of one thing that despite the fact I’m selling it so cheap it is still working perfectly and I have only used it for 2 months. It is at fedex location in wyoming . Please don’t get confussed about the TV at fedex location in wyoming the reason is due to the fact that I almost lost it to a scammer there so I had to instruct fedex to hold it up for me at their office. If you are interested in buying it I’ll not be able to receive cash because I’m kinda busy working on a case in Florida right now. all I will need to proceed is your contact info so I can get it shipped to you. As for the payment Money order or Western union will be ok. But, I would prefer you making the payment through western union money transfer because that will be much easier and convenient to me. once I get the TV shipped to you, I will provide you the shipment label and tracking number for you to confirm it has been shipped. Once you confirm it has been shipped you will send ($150) part of the payment upfront and when the TV gets to you, you then send me the remaining balance. you can reach me at (850)3030084 or email me if you are still interested and ok with my terms and conditions.
Thanks
So a couple thoughts came across my little brain: “If she is working on a case in Florida, she must be a lawyer and have enough $$ to buy 3 more flat screens”…“Why is she so trusting of me to wait for me to receive the TV before I send the the final payment”…“who the hell lives in Wyoming?”…“what hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?”…so I ask her for more info on the exact payment instructions before I commit and I get back a response in a few hours:
I will arrange the shipment to your address. once I ship it to you I’ll provide you the shipment label and tracking number so you can verify it has been shipped and will also provide you the payment info you are to send the upfront payment to via western union. Once again I want to assure you that the TV is working in good condition and I really hope I can trust you sending the remaining balance when the plasma gets to you.
Name of Receiver: Paul Richardson
Address: 21 Kingsway Avenue
City: Ikeja
State: Lagos
Zip Code: 23401
Country: Nigeria
Test Question: Favorite Sport
Answer: Baseball
Amount you are to send: $150
Red Flags are popping up all over the place…“I want an LCD, why is she talking about a plasma?”…“how many people in Nigeria are named Paul Richardson?”…” how does she make any money after spending $350 to send me a TV she is only charging $450 for”…“why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?”…“everyone knows the favorite sport in Nigeria is soccer not baseball”…
So then I decide to get off the darn blackberry, wait until I get to the office and Google our little friend Fatasha. I find this as a #1 hit.
So, being sick this weekend and spending most of it in a drug-induced stupor in front of the tube, I was magically awoken Saturday afternoon by the sounds of Explosions in The Sky. I immediately thought I had the best girlfriend in the word and she somehow knew the best medicine to cure any illness is to listen to Your Hand in Mine over and over again- so you can imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes to a Cadillac Commercial!
Part of me wanted to hate on EITS for selling out to the Ad world, part of me was so happy to hear these guys really get their sound out there (since no one ever saw Friday Night Lights), and part of me just wanted another shot of Thera-Flu to crawl back into my shell (that’s 3 parts…is that possible?)
I started bitching about it to a guy at work and he said he was listening to the radio this wekeend and came across an Outback Steakhouse commercial with a stellar remix of Of Montreal’s Wraith Pinned to the Mist. True songwriting talent comes out with TV-licious, re-made lyrics like “‘Let’s pretend we’re at Outback Steakhouse”…
In a frantic search to find these videos, I came across another blogger ranting about The Black Eyes posing themselves for a Nissan Xterra commercial with Set You Free.
This can all only lead to one feasible outcome = Indie Rock is taking over the world!!
And one feasible question = what is your favorite ripped-off TV commercial song?
If you disagree and really want some quality, moralistic, good family-entertainment advertising I would suggest my favorites: Trunk Monkey or 1-800-Got-Junk.
I am not sure if I am allowed to rant on this thing, but I think I have decided what I want to do after I die and come back. I was walking to work this morning and counted 16 buildings with scaffolding on them and only 3 of them actually had people working on them. This made me wonder what the heck all the scaffolding is for:
- Perhaps Pataki has a new deal with the mob as a front to launder more money – Tony Soprano’s Scaffolding Company?! I like the sound of that.
- Maybe it is some low budget The Union Square Business Improvement District project to allow people to walk home in the rain without an umbrella.
- Maybe we as pedestrians have all been reduced to the Ultimate Dog Challenge’ Weave Poll Competition on our walk to work
Regardless, maybe Colgate can shed some light on this or better yet, I am gonna start my own scaffolding company this year and make lots of money by doing nothing.
So, I went with a coworker Monday night to this thing called the Manhattan Monologue Slam at the Bowery Poetry Club becuase we had a crap day at work and decided we needed a good laugh and tasty beverage. In short, this thing is friggin’ awesome – imagine the UCB for theater actors. The premise is that for the first set you take these NY actors and give them each 3 minutes to do a monologue – you get some comedy, some drama, and some with dwarf dildos in their purse. They get judged, a winner is announced, and there is much rejoicing. Our favorite was Samantha, but she got third – we did not rejoice. The second set is having audience members sign up during the night for a 30 second slam – some are terrible, some are amazing, some are 12 years old, and some are just really hot and get applause – and in between are the Galinsky Borthers emceeing the whole thing who actually turn out to be pretty funny after a couple of drinks. Then, the crowd picks the winner and again there is much rejoicing.
It happens every month on the first Monday of the Month. Trust me it’s pretty damn fun – especially when we get this guy to do it next time.
After a failed attempt to sell my PSP on Craigslist this week, I took a quick look for a new flat screen TV. I figured why not take a look and see if some divorsee in the West Village or something has one they are dying to get rid of. Monday I found this listing:
In short, this thing is friggin’ awesome – imagine the 
