want a Second Life? sorta….

OK, so I know our president is complete moron, the Mets should have won Game 7, and we all want to be reincarnated as a women’s bicycle seat, but I just came across this website/game called Second Life that begs the question of “does my life really suck that bad?”

Imagine a game where you start your life all over, buy land, get jobs, meet new people, build buildings, go clubbing, pay your Maintenance Fee, walk the dog, cash your paycheck…..all with the ability to turn off the world by turning off the monitor.

I will be the first to admit I was a video game dork growing up and still look at the newest Final Fantasies on the shelf at Best Buy. I loved SimCity and watching all the little cars drive around the city I built and getting pissed when the crime was too high. I even remember the little handheld toys girls had growing up with the virtual baby you had to feed by pushing a button when it screamed at you.

I of all people love to escape this crazy world with bad movies, reading 1984 every year, squashing ants because I can, and occasionally dressing up as a little school girl and getting spanked……..

Really, why would I want to play a game where I can “party at nightclubs, attend fashion shows and art openings or just play games”. Is it really that hard to put a pair of shoes on and walk out your door and do the same thing?! OK, so I can live with the agoraphobics of the world who want to sit in front of a computer till their butt osmosises into the chair, but I get even more creeped out when the (real) companies jump on this and are now advertising throughout the (fake) world of Second Life (of note: 20th Century Fox held a movie premier, Starwood Hotels is building a virtual hotel there, MLB and ESPN have home run derbies , BBC had an online concert with Gnarls Barkley/Bloc Party/Franz Ferdinand, and Harvard’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society owns an island there to host events and conferences on the diplomacy of the whole Second Life premise, irony?!)

On the other hand, I guess there is finally a world where Ray can skate and not break his foot, Justin can be Thomas the door guy at Misshapes, Nghia can buy a titty bar, Christian can date the strippers, Pablo can continue to hold my hand, Theo can marry the Olsen Twins, Paul can hook up with Mary Lou Retton, Patrick can join the paparazzi, , Dave can quit operating on nipples, and Leroy can join the Silversun Pickups.

This thing really creeps me out….so much so I think I will have to join it just so I can open a casino or build a Pappasito’s and eat queso and fajitas every night since the TexMex sucks so bad in NYC –