FRICTION NYC

Wow…it’s hard to believe that I’m really here. Lo and behold, here I be. I guess a small introduction is in order. For those of you playing the home game, I am the latest addition to the roster of misfits destined to overtake the globe known as Crackers United. You may address me as Ric. *bows humbly* Now to why we are all here…

I had the joy of experiencing my first outing as a “Cracker-on-the-scene” by heading out to a pretty sweet concert Wednesday night at Irving Plaza. I guess I never had anything to post on the blog, so I got out there and found something to do worth taking up virtual space and your valuable reading time to write about. The bill: Action Action, Morningwood, and the headliner, The Sounds. Overall, the show was pretty rockin’. But that tells you nothing; let’s get down to specifics.

Action Action started the show off with a rather explosive set. They were pumped, playing to a half to 3/4 filled scene as though the room was wall-to-wall with hot, nubile hipster goddesses ready to claim the band as personal slaves for goddess lovin’. Oh, there were some in da house; make no mistakes. But I digress… This is my first time seeing the quartet, but they did a good job of impressing me. The set lasted about 40 minutes. Even though I was not familiar with their catalog, I liked them. They reminded me a little of a toned down, more up-beat version of Panic! at the Disco. But hey…that could have been the effect of the earplugs. What? I’m old so I value my hearing; shut up. I give them a B.

Next up to bat, the main reason I wanted to go - Morningwood. All giggling about the name aside, their self-titled CD gets heavy rotation in my player (I’m working on getting an iPod - the going rate for a male gigolo is marginal at present so it’ll take some time). Plus I heard that they put on a mean show. Give it all up for the delicious buxom bombshell, Chantal Claret. This hair-whippin’, horse-ridin’, breast-bouncin’ ball of thunder thighs and wild rock girl sexiness bent the crowd to her every whim. The band even explained how they rate each crowd: good crowds are “T*ts”, super good crowds are the “T*t’s Nipple”, and the creme de la creme earn the title of the “Bead.” Orlando, Fl got the “Bead” so we had to get it. “Bead of what,” you ask? Bead of sweat. “Bead of sweat where, ” you say? Um…I think you can figure that out (hint: notice how the super crowd title built on the foundation of the good crowd grade? Do the math). We earned each letter of the “Bead” one at a time. And when they did “Take Off Your Clothes,” as an audience member was stripped to her now-mentioned unmentionables by Chantal, we knew the “Bead” was ours. Besides…we had home field advantage.

Overall, Morningwood gets an A-.

After a brief change of equipment, The Sounds took the stage. Hot damn, Maja Ivarsson is crazy fine! I mean, I bobbed my head to “Mine For Life” on quite a few occasions, but I never thought about how incredibly hot the package the voice was coming from would be. She should be nicknamed “The Blond Bullet” - she was ricocheting all over the stage; she even dived into the crowd, rode a massive people wave, and continued rocking. Did I mention that she was wearing a slinky black dress and “I’m-a-dirty-girl” stilettos? She sounded great, even through the earplugs, and the band was tight. I give many props to the keyboardist. Man, he got into tickling the ivories and ebonies. I had heard that some people, not naming names this round Tex, say that The Sounds were not good in concert. Nay, my faithful friends; out of the 3 bands featured, The Sounds cranked the crowd up the most, whipping them into a frenzy of sing-a-long bliss. The two L.I. hotties next to me were singing and dancing, continuously bumping me while I was trying to snap off pitiful shots like the one you see here. But the one closest and chattiest with me did dedicate a few minutes of her tantric state to lusciously grind against me - yeah, I guess that made us even. Running through classics (”Mine For Life”, “Living in America”) and tracks off the latest (”Painted By Numbers”, “Queen of Apology”), The Sounds put on one hell of a show. I’d so go see them again.

The Sounds - no question - get an A.

Well, that’s it, kiddies. I’m done here - you can go home now. And just in case I wasn’t clear - Chantal? Maja? Oh yeah, I’d wreck those chicks… *shakes his head in disappointed negation* Don’t you filthy apes watch Family Guy?!?